Prepare to Return to Work

In one week I will be returning to work. Last night I had a dream that one of my students showed up at my apartment to ask me a question. I was furious that he did not go and see my supervisor for help. Maybe it's a sign that I'm ready or a sign that work is upon me.

Before Eric and I decided to have children I would ask Eric if he would be okay if I was a stay at home mom. At that time he would reply, "if we had the money." So, I knew that where he stood on that but he would ask me, "do you think you could be a stay at home mom?" Honestly, I didn't know then. I hear from my friends that some of them can and some of them cannot. Who knew how I would feel after having my own child?

Towards the end of my pregnancy, Eric opened up the conversation of his acceptance of me being a stay at home mom. I found this quite odd as our child wasn't here yet and he was beginning to have a change of heart. I didn't think much of this since my intent was always to return to work after maternity leave.

When Elizabeth was born (by the way, we're still in discussion in regards to Ellie or Ella) Eric and I were both like "we cannot be stay at home parents." However, as I took my daycare orientation tour yesterday I had a hard time handing her off to one of the teachers while we went to take care of paperwork. I kept tearing up as I saw where she was going to sleep and as we filled out the paperwork. Even seeing the numbers on how much we would be paying a week was hard (luckily for a 10% SLU discount).

A friend told me recently that it's hard to let them go to daycare at this age, but by the time they're three it'll be "see you later!"

My other challenge is having enough milk to send with her to daycare. I've been reading and reading on how to have enough but with trying to pump so that she's given an ounce of milk a day and trying to get a freezer stash started is proving a lot harder than I thought. The daycare she goes to provides formula so we started giving her the formula that the daycare will provide (Good Start) and see how she does. She has taken formula before but she's done so well these past thirty days that she did not even finish half a can of Similac. Luckily one of my friends daughter will be able to use the unfinished can.

Here's a picture of our less fussy, more smiling baby Elizabeth! We love her more than she'll ever know.