A Recap from Last Time!

I think it's been about two weeks or so that we have been living in our new house. Things have been so busy that everything is a blur. After I returned to work from maternity leave, Eric began to work extra to finish a huge project. When I asked when he would think he would be free again, he would say Valentine's Day. Well Valentine's Day turned to my birthday, my birthday turned to "end of April" turned to "middle of May." Finally I just gave up. Suddenly, one day, he was free, but then we found out that my uncle had moved out of our house and it was time to start packing and start moving!

However, we ran into a lot of issues. Like...the house smelled like smoke. My uncle didn't smoke in every room but even opening all the windows wasn't enough to get the smell out. Finally, Eric did his researched and found out that we would need to wash the walls, prime it, then paint it. Luckily, my dad and one of the tenants that owes my parents some money worked on getting it all done (along with Kevin, his friend Gerry, Eric, and his cousins Vanessa and Jeremy). It took longer than anticipated, but we invested a lot of money in getting the smell gone. There also happened to be two leaks in the foundation, a squirrel hanging out, and bathrooms that had no towel racks, carpet to be ripped out, flooring to be replaced. Needless to say, Eric and I invested a lot of money to make this new house our home. We're still unpacking and of course, Eric is back to working "half days" also known as 12 hour days at work. I hope we see the light of the end of the tunnel soon. We had hoped to have a House Warming Party for Labor Day weekend but I'm too overwhelmed to even consider that as a possibility.

I promise pictures of the house at the next blog posting. So many little things to do while trying to balance the needs of our two little kiddos. Here's a picture of Ellie during a recent trip to Stacy Park near our home.

Testing Google Blogger via Cell Phone

Well, it looks like I may start blogging more if blogger works out my phone. I take more pictures with my cell than our expensive camera. So, this is a dry run to see how everything works and if I can keep it up. I have so many thoughts going through my head, I need an outlet.

A picture of Katie, smiling so big you can barely see her eyes.

Katherine Childrey's Arrival

Katherine "Katie" was born on 10/16/12 at 9:51 p.m. However, unlike her older sister, her arrival to the world was a unique one.

As many of you may already know, I had Katie at home. Not by choice. However, before I go into this very long story of her arrival I want to share my views about "those who did make it to the hospital in time." You know those news stories where a woman gives birth in the car, home, or ambulance? I always think "well, why didn't she leave earlier?" Now that I have walked through their shoes, I can say I understand and hopefully with my story you will understand too.

At around 6 p.m. when I started making dinner I started having contractions and couldn't finish making dinner or help Ellie get ready for dinner. So Eric took over while I sat in one of Ellie's tiny chairs. Eric downloaded a contraction app on his phone so we decided to start recording the contractions.

At around 8 p.m. the pain became so unbearable I told Eric that I wanted an epidural. He looked at his phone and saw that there was really no pattern. I would have contractions lasting 30-60 seconds that were about 2-6 minutes apart. So Eric did some googling and thought that maybe it would be time to go to the hospital. Eric helped me call the hospital and speak with a nurse. She said that they should be one minute contractions, 5 minutes apart, for ONE hour before coming in.

I began to think that maybe I was a wuss and that I couldn't handle this since she made it sound like I still have a ways to go. So I laid down watching a previous episode of Dancing With the Stars while Eric frantically began packing the hospital bags. We also called my mom to let her know that she should be ready for a phone call any time.

Then at one point the pain became so intolerable I told Eric that I HAD to go to the hospital. So he called my mom. During his phone call something felt wrong and I looked at Eric and said "I have to go to the hospital NOW." So he went downstairs to ask Jesse, one of our neighbors, to stay with Ellie (she was asleep) while my mom was on her way. When he came back he found me on the toilet because I felt like I had to poop. I said to him "Eric, I'm having this baby NOW." He immediately called 911 and said to me, "DO NOT PUSH." I sat on the toilet and had a contraction where something gushed out of me (I'm assuming now that it was my water) and another contraction where something much larger came out.  I didn't think it was a baby, but Eric set down the phone and said "IT'S THE BABY!" He pulled the baby out and thankfully she let out a cry.

I was very, very frantic, I wasn't expecting to give birth outside the safe confines of a hospital.  My back was turned to Eric, and couldn't really turn around, so he did the only thing he could think of. "JESSE! HELP!"  She snapped into action doing what the 911 said.  Getting her wrapped up, cleaning her nose and mouth, and getting the umbilical cord tied off with a shoe string.   I asked Eric how the baby was, and he assured me that she looked great, and was beautiful. I didn't believe him, who gave him a medical degree?! Jesse ran off to let the paramedics in while Eric and I shuffled to the bed so I could lay down, we had done as much as we could for the baby.

The paramedics got in the room and I asked the first one in how my baby was.  He paused and yelled "GET SOMEONE IN HERE!"  It seemed like none of them were really ready for what they had encountered here. Finally someone came in the room who got the cord cut and got us down the stairs to the stretcher outside.  To my embarrassment a lot of our neighbors had come outside to see what the ambulance and fire truck were up to, meanwhile all I was wearing was a shirt and a blanket, hopefully it was dark enough and no one could see anything.  As I was being loaded into the ambulance Eric came out with the hospital bags and saw the crowd and did the only thing he could do. "IT'S A GIRL!"

Eric here, though some of the above was ghost written by me.  While terrifying, this was one of the amazing experiences of my life, holding my daughter still covered in blood and vernix is something I'll never forget. I had half seriously talked to Nancy about "catching" Katie.  If we have another kid I intend to catch him/her, though in a more controlled, and sterile, environment. When Nancy asked how she was, I truely meant it, she looked perfect. She was active and breathing, and didn't have any porcelain induced damage.  There wasn't a doubt in my mind that she was OK.

If Jesse ever babysits again I'll be shocked.

Blog is Dead

I think it might be time to shut down this blog as you can see I've hardly had any time to blog on here to give you updates on our family. Really, nothing new but the ordinary has happened and I like it that way. Maybe one day when I finally get to be crafty I'll start blogging again.

Happy 2012!

Classes start Monday!

Wow, this summer sure did fly by! I can't believe Ellie will turn nine months on Sunday!

I'm feeling more nervous about this upcoming school year than my previous years. The university where I work at has decided to change a few things on us. First, students are able to make appointments to see advisors through a calendar system. However, this system was suppose to be up and running yesterday but instead they pushed it back to the first day of school. In the past we've done appointments by having students sign up on a sheet of paper. We've been told by leadership that we can't do any in-house marketing until it has been released. I'm nervous how this will affect things for me since we need to keep notes there and notes in our files. I feel like it's double the work.

Second, the FERPA process has changed. FERPA is a law (in a nutshell) where students have to give permission for a parent to call the university to find out any kind of information about the student. Previously, this permission was given on paper and we then sent the paperwork to the registrar's office and we could see in the system who was granted access. Since Linda could really be Jane, there's now a 4 digit code parents have to give to us to verify that she is indeed Linda and not Jane.

So all summer long parents kept calling us and we had to be very careful on how we disclosed information. Luckily for me, most of my students called me when they had a problem.

Third, this year we were asked to pre-register international students. I, unfortunately, had two transfer international students. You cannot imagine how much more difficult it is to build their schedule. I mean is biophysics our equivalent of Engineering Physics? Let me take a look at the course description...oh it's written in Spanish. *sigh* So needless to say, courses aren't getting articulated and classes are filling up.

We have huge enrollment numbers this year which is really a great thing but not enough seats. Chemistry Lab is completely filled. I have two students that need to get into a lab. There aren't enough Chemistry seats either so we're being allowed to just "push them in." Whether they get a seat in a chair is another story. I say let's just move Chemistry lecture to Chaifetz Arena (our university arena) or open up the Chemistry section for just chemistry majors to all students.

In other news, Ellie is now mobile. Well sort of. She does prefer to sit up but if she's on her tummy she will scoot around. I'm wondering when she'll get to crawling. We have to be super careful with her. All in one week she fell off our bed and while Eric was holding her, she decided to lean back and push away from Eric, startling him and he could not catch her in time. We started nicknaming her "Evel Kni-Ellie."

Feeling Disappointed

I know it's been a while since I have posted on my blog here. This summer flew by. June was consumed with Freshmen Orientation at work and I began an eight week summer course. July was overtaken with the summer course involving intense research. I sighed a huge relief when I turned in my paper on July 29th and rejoiced in early August when I found out that I received an A in the course.

Ellie is now 8 months old, scooting around, displaying signs of separation anxiety (luckily it doesn't last long), and has six teeth! She is Eric's and mine's pride and joy.

Unfortunately, the past couple of weeks I've hit a roadblock. For the past several months I had been proud to be able to provide Ellie with breastmilk. It helps me with the guilt of taking her to daycare. Although I admit I could not be a stay at home mom. I love the idea of working part time to spend more time with her.

However, the past week all of the sudden I've stopped producing as much milk. So I went back to my regime of drinking nursing tea and Fenugreek. I had a couple good days and then back to where my problems began. If I was still in school or if it was freshmen orientation I would understand or have a reason for this. However, at this point I don't. I'm trying my hardest not to be so hard on myself and not to get disappointed that mother nature has a different path for me.

Daycare

It's interesting when you talk to other moms about childcare. One person, not knowing my situation, stated that her mother in law from India was watching her baby and does not trust daycare. Luckily, I'm able to keep my nonjudgemental look that I learned through my counseling days. However, I think a lot about the pros and cons of daycare.

I personally cannot see myself as a stay at home mom. I wish I was a part time stay at home mom with the ability to go to work part time and stay connected to the adult world. Eric and I aren't rich enough for a live in nanny, so we're happy with daycare, even though the amount we pay per week makes us cringe.

I admit I wasn't happy with our daycare in the beginning, mainly due to administrative reasons. First, it took forever for us to get a tour and for someone to call us back. Then, the business manager didn't know how to do math. Third, it took a good two months to get a door code. Eric stated the entire time that the most important thing was Ellie's care. She was in great hands. I cannot rave enough about the teachers that take care of her.

Yesterday, I dropped Ellie off in the playroom. It's a large room where the little kids get together from other rooms to play. It's kind of like recess, but indoors. There was someone that I did not recognize, Ms. Kim. One of Ellie's daycare teachers, Miss Charlene explained to me that Ms. Kim often comes in to hold Ellie and she works with the older kids. Which explains why Ms. Kim's eyes lite up when I brought Ellie in and quickly gave Miss Charlene a boy (the newest infant) she was holding and took Ellie instead. Ellie is clearly Ms. Kim's favorite little girl. It warms my heart that Ellie can brighten the days of so many people, I know Eric and mine's for sure! Even if it's at 4:30 a.m!

He's Not Enrique Iglesias!

Ellie has found her "shrieking" voice. I knew she found it a while back ago but it went away. However, it started resurfacing a few days ago. Friday night, Ellie and I were dancing to Justin Bieber's Baby song and Eric walked in. She got so excited in my arms and she started shrieking like the girls shriek in the concert when the band comes on stage. I said to Ellie, "he's not Enrique Iglesias" and Eric took Ellie and started singing, "I can be your hero, baby. I can kiss away your tears...."

I love these moments.

Six Months Old Already!?!

Where has the time gone? I honestly don't know. Ellie has grown up so much. However, since being in daycare for the past 13 weeks I would say about 2/3 of the time there she has been sick.

I never like to bring her there sick, but, when you spend all of your maternity leave on caring for a tiny baby that doesn't leave much time for me to be away from work taking care of a sick baby. Luckily Eric is able to "work" from home and take care of her a few times.

Last week was pretty rough. On Friday night/Saturday morning she woke up at 2, 4 and 6 a.m. I told Eric that we were definetely going to take her to see the pediatrician in the morning. I called that morning and were luckily able to get a visit in at 11:45. As I suspected, the pediatrician told me there was nothing wrong with her and just to run the humidifier and give saline drops. I had a feeling she had an ear infection and because the long weekend was ahead due to Memorial Day I wanted to be sure that she was checked out.

Then this past Wednesday she had her six month wellness visit with a different pediatrician. Our regular pediatrician is on maternity leave so we welcomed a very socially awkward female pediatrician. She was nice but when she checked Ellie she said that she did in fact have an ear infection. I was so upset because on Saturday night I decided to let Ellie cry it out. I fear that she was indeed in pain and may have wanted to be comforted. Although the pediatrician assured me that there's no telling when it could have started I just felt terrible. I also wondered if we did not have a wellness exam that day, how many more days would she be suffering? So 10 days of antibiotics and another check up in two weeks.

Ellie is 26 3/4 inches long, 16 pounds and 11 ounces at her six month check up. She is in the 97% percentile in length and 75% in weight.

Eric and I debated for a while in regards to solids. We did a lot of research and there were a lot of conflicting reports in regards to this topic. Actually, there's a lot of conflicting report about everything (i.e. Baby 411 says put the child to bed earlier, they wake up later while What to Expect the First Year states put the child to bed later, they'll wake up later). We noticed at 4 months she was definitely not ready for solids because she would use her tongue to block things (i.e. a toy) which we learned was a sign she was not ready.

In regards to breastfeeding I read a lot of material that stated that once I started feeding solids my supply would decrease. Naturally with working I did not want that to happen so we decided to hold off. However, this past Saturday we gave her a serving of rice cereal which she found interesting. It was fun but now the real challenge begins tomorrow when Eric and I will make baby food for the first time.

I have been fortunate to have a boss that allows me to pump 3 times a day. I also have a wonderful coworker that helps dodge the question of "Where's Nancy?" when students can't read my sign that says "I'm currently unavailable, please return in 20 minutes." Trust me, engineering male students just don't have the maturity to know what's really going on in those 20 minutes. I've done so well so far that I have a huge freezer stash and only a few bags left to store frozen milk. Just yesterday I had to freeze 12 ounces of milk because Ellie wasn't going to get to them within seven days.

Along with food, I kind of made an executive decision to begin putting Ellie to bed earlier. We used to put her to bed at 8, but then it became 7 and now it's become 6:30. Unfortunately, this means Eric has less time to play with Ellie at night because he usually gets home around 6. Then we read a few books and I nurse then she either cries or goes to sleep since she's awake when I put her down to bed. I really hate her crying to sleep but I hear from many people that it's the best way. So I'm trying it.

At this point, we still haven't evicted Ellie out of our room. We plan to do it this weekend but I admit I'm a little nervous. We've done a lot of straightening and just need to buy black out curtains, install the doors, and curtain rods before we can move her. It'll be a challenge for all of us but we also want to let her cry it out in the middle of the night instead of having to get up and sticking a pacifier in her mouth.

I can't believe Ellie is six months old and can already do so much. I oftentimes want time to stop so I can treasure this moment a little longer.

New Milestones

Ellie turns five months in one week. I've noticed that we've blogged less and have taken less photos. We should probably fix that.

I hope once I get my ten page paper finished I'll have more time to focus on getting other things done. I'd like to start cleaning but shopping is always more interesting. I can't wait until the weather is nice but not hot. Walks around the Central West End sounds great.

I also want to start seeing more of my friends. I've been sheltered lately, trying to focus on spending as much time with Ellie as I can. She's getting so big and as of last night she slept with both arms out of her swaddle. She does a 360 in the crib and is still getting up once or twice in the middle of the night. I hope that will end soon.

The memories of the early days together as a family are becoming faint. I sit and try to think how did we survive that first month? Where did all the time go? Time is flying by so fast yet so much has happened.

Ellie loves to laugh for strangers. She loves daycare and I know this because she refuses to look at me when I drop her off. She also loves us and I know this because she smiles and laughs when we pick her up from daycare. I know she's having a good time.

Eric and I are in love with Ellie. We can't get enough of her and we can't stop snuggling and kissing her.

Getting Burnt Out? Or Getting Burned.

Last week my students were on spring break and I was in heaven. I know when spring break arrives it is the calm before the storm. I saw very few students since most of them were away having fun. However, spring break is also the week in which I receive midterm grades.

This time of year the students are under a lot of stress. The waves of tests awaits them or they find out that they aren't doing as well as they wanted to. They also are trying to figure out their summer plans: vacation, summer school, internship. Along with all of this they have to meet with their faculty mentor and me (their academic advisor) before they can register for classes in the fall.

There are four types of students during the registration period process. The overachiever: the guy that comes in super early with everything lined up. The average guy: the person that gives himself just enough time to meet with me. The high-maintenance student: the person that waited until the last minute to start the process then finds out that I'm completely booked the week before he is suppose to register and then comes to my door demanding that I squeeze him in. Finally , there's the laid back Joe: the guy that waits until registration is over before he even begins to start the process.

On rare occasions I have the student that is superstitious and waits until the day before classes to register.

This semester, to add into that mix I have two complicated students. One that came in this week wanting to register for classes...for THIS semester. Another student in which I have never met, but only communicated through phone and e-mail that have made some very uncomfortable remarks.

I thought having a child would make me more patient with the students, but I have found that I am the same. I'm easily frustrated when they fail to understand process and procedures to this entire process when they do this twice a year. I also get frustrated when they make comments in regards to why appointments take 30 minutes when we may only meet for five or that I'm not important enough for them to remember to meet with me.

In the past I would care that they would make these comments, but since I've been back at work, I don't feel as emotionally invested as I use to be. Is this a bad thing? It's not that I no longer give the great service that I give to students but I feel like I don't vent as much as I use to when student make hurtful comments. Maybe I'm just focused on the more important things.

I have also begun looking into summer classes. I have my eye on a research class that is solely online! This would be perfect since I am still nursing Ellie, a night class would mean too many hours away from her which could affect my milk supply. So, this would be a perfect balance of getting a class out of the way and meeting her needs.

Pumping at work has been interesting. Every time I pump, I never know how much I am going to get. I think my mood affects it too because when the students stress me out with their demands I do produce less milk. However, I've been lucky to have a great boss and co-worker that have been so understanding and don't hold a grudge that I've blocked off an hour a day to pump. Only one student has demanded to know where I was 3-3:30 every day. I think she felt bad asking when I told her the truth. I absolutely hate it when students knock on my door when I'm pumping. I need to make a sign that just states when I'll be back.

Birthday week is coming up soon. I'll be turning the big 3-0 this year. There's nothing wrong with it, but I do feel old. I feel that I have more gray hair than ever before. I am also losing a lot of hair and it freaks me out when one of them is gray. I'm disappointed that my mom waited until last night to make plans with me for Sunday night when my friends asked me weeks ago to take me out Sunday night. I'm also surprised that my mom doesn't want to see Ellie more. She had the insurance agent mail me my new insurance cards for my car instead of bringing them over. I feel very confused and sad that we aren't a more close-knit family. I really thought having a child would do that, but here I am: wrong.

As I sit and reflect the complicated relationship I have with my parents, I hope that Ellie and I will have just the opposite. I hope we're like Lorelei and Rory in Gilmore Girls, that she can come to me always and that she knows that I will love her unconditionally. I also know that she will have a great relationship with Eric and hope that she realizes that she can always count on him to be there for her: emotionally and physically. I know people have told us this before, but Ellie is really lucky to have us as parents. Our own life experiences of hurt, disappointment, and sadness have taught us what we can do better for our daughter and hopefully she'll have more confidence and trust than I will ever have.

Our Lovely Turkey on St. Patrick's Day. Possibly my favorite picture.

A Full Five Day Work Week

Last week was the first full five days that I worked. It was challenging as I found myself deciding between shower or sleep. 50% of the times sleep won and I just put my hair in a pony tail at work the next day. I'm not sure where the time goes in the evenings. It's not like we're wasting our time watching TV. I think oftentimes I am scrambling to get dinner ready (which is not easy when I have a 20-30 minute nursing session right when I get home), washing the bottles from daycare and getting our bags packed for the next day. Let alone to spend some quality time with Turkey before she naps or falls asleep. It's a challenge and I hope as she gets older, it gets easier.

Ellie is still coughing. She got a little better when she went back to daycare on Monday but then the sneezing started and our bottle of Little Noses is almost empty since we've try to saline her nose so she can breathe, eat or sleep. Ellie also stopped coughing so hard that she would spit up all of her food but it started again this weekend. Sunday morning was the worse because it was so violent that it went on the floor while she was laying in her crib. I feel so bad for her, but it doesn't phase her. Even after that massive spit up she went right to sleep.

In terms of sleep, my 8-9 hours is out the window. She wakes up about 5 or 6 hours after we put her down so she's getting up twice a night with the second wake up 45 minutes before I'm suppose to get up for work. It's rough and she's still the only kid that stays the longest at daycare. I just hope that Ellie can get rid of this cough/congestion fast so that we can all get some better sleep.

Busy Busy Busy

I realized that Ellie started a cough on Saturday. I should have known something was up when she took a three hour nap and we decided to wake her up so that she would be able to sleep that night. She was not happy. After an afternoon of errands and going to visit her great grandma (who has a broken arm) she was tired. It was a rough night because she woke up every four hours coughing and she wasn't nursing well.

Sunday had been planned for weeks. My mom turns 50 on 2/28/11 and she was up in the air on what she wanted to do for her birthday. So finally she decided Dim Sum Sunday morning and then a Karaoke party Sunday night. So we dragged Ellie to Dim Sum on Sunday and then we also took her to the Karaoke party, since my mom didn't say anything about bringing a baby to the party we took her.

Once we arrived the other Asians found it unacceptable that the baby was there. They said that the loud music was going to affect her heart and that she shouldn't be there. My mom heard it but didn't say anything so I went to the car to try to nurse her and then sent Eric to take her home while I stayed behind. At around 9 it was time for me to go back home to nurse her and put her to bed. Little did I know that my departure meant that everyone else was leaving and the party ended. I felt bad for my mom but a four hour party isn't too bad, right! There was some good booze, food, and singing. I hope that my mom had a good time and enjoyed the angel food cake that her friend's daughter made for her. I again was asked why I didn't buy my mom a more presentable cake but I told her friends the cake she got was what she wanted. I was more than happy to buy my mom a delicious cake from Dierberg's European Bakery, since she does not like sweet cakes.

Ellie's coughs only got worse and on Wednesday she began sneezing. Thursday when I went and got her she was crying and I could tell from her face that she was tired and exhausted. They said that she didn't sleep well and that they finally gave up and let her sleep in the swing since she kept waking up each time she coughed. Thursday night was no easy feat as she began to have massive spit ups each time she coughed. We weren't sure if Friday she could go to daycare.

Friday morning we got up and again she had a major spit up and I decided she was staying home. She didn't have a fever but with this being her first illness I just wanted to be home with her. We decided to call the doctor and the nurse said for her to come in since her cough wasn't any better.

The doctor stated that she most likely had RSV and that luckily she wasn't too bad (i.e. no fever, no fluids in the lungs, etc) and mostly what she heard was congestion. We need to continue to watch for any fevers because that could be a sign of something else. Ellie sleeps a lot and eats less which worries me but I really hope that she gets over this FAST!

I Survived the Four Day Work Week

Out of four days, I cried twice right after dropping Ellie off at daycare, teared up several times throughout the day at work on the third day and well, the fourth day was a little easier.

When I drop Ellie off in the mornings, the group is in a playroom where all the kids 2 and under play together. Today when I went in, one of the teachers that work with the 1 year old room, was excited to see Ellie and requested to hold her. I felt relieved for some reason and it was a nice feeling. I guess our baby's cute chubby cheeks and winning smile are melting the hearts of other people besides us, right? ;0)

Ellie doesn't have much of a day schedule but her nights are pretty right on. She is ready for bed between 7:30-8:30 and typically she gets up at around 4-5 to eat. That is almost 8 hours and I'm loving it. Most of the time she will go back right to sleep and will wake up on her own at around 8 or 9 a.m. She just started this when I went back to work and it's working wonderfully for us. It gives Eric and I some time to get ready for the next day, shower, and do the dishes. We are certainly behind on our TV shows and a 30 minute show could take us two days. We try to hit the sack at 10:30 so that we both have enough sleep for the next day. I could be more tired at work but I'm thankful that she's "sleeping through the night." She's definitely a sleeper like her parents!

However, since she goes to bed at 8 this only leaves a few hours of awake time that I get to spend with her and even less for Eric. I dread the day when Eric begins to work late hours because I don't think he'll see much of her. That part saddens me the most. Sometimes when I pick her up from daycare I feel like "did you grow while I was gone?" Thank goodness daycare is only a 5 minute drive from work and home. I love how it's on the way to work. Sometimes I think I'm running late because I leave at 7:40, I still make it to work at 8:05 the latest!

Eric and I brought up the topic of evicting Ellie out of our room. We're not sure if we're ready yet. However, if she continues sleeping 8-5 I think it's something that we can consider.

On a different note, my 10 page paper that's been nagging at me since November is due May 1. I guess I should begin working on that this weekend, huh? Except I say that every weekend and all of the sudden it's Sunday night! Next weekend for sure is what I say. It's going to have to happen soon!

A picture of Ellie with her cute flower headband that I got off etsy (Can I say that I absolutely LOVE etsy!?!). Nobody better ask me "is that a boy or girl?"

Much Needed Three Day Weekend

Friday was an interesting day. It was my first full day since my boss let me go 30 minutes early on Thursday. I asked Eric to go with me to daycare because Ellie was fussy and I just needed some moral support. Luckily daycare is only a 3 minute drive from our apartment.

She was the first one there and when I went to pick her up she was the last one there. I felt terrible, but Eric said that it was not a good indicator as people tend to work shorter days on Fridays and I did not pay attention on Thursday to see if she was the first one there.

I took things a lot slower Friday morning and arrived to work a little before 8. I realized I have run into some challenges at work with pumping. First, the pump is kind of loud but I think my coworker doesn't mind (I mean she did hear me puke during my pregnancy). Second is washing the parts in between sessions. I have to walk into the kitchen and I try to cover my hand over the bowl containing all the parts so that nobody notices. However, I've gotten the eyebrow from a lady when she realized what I was carrying. I realize that I need to have a cover but the handle of the bottle brush will stick out. I wish there was an easier way to do this. This weekend I need to buy more parts only because they are sometimes still wet after washing the parts. Until someone approaches me about this, I plan to continue washing it in the sink.

I also tried to visit some people on Friday. There is certainly a level of pressure of looks when I went back. One lady said to me, "you lost your weight but you just need to tone."

Here's a video of Ellie's second rounds of laughs. Eric has made it a mission to get her to laugh everyday.

I Am SO Tired

Apparently, I overestimated my times today and ended up at work at 7:45 instead of 8. I guess tomorrow I can take things a little slower or maybe today was a very good, fast morning.

I woke up at 6:15 and began nursing Ellie at 6:45. Just like the night before she got up at 4:30 and fell fast asleep at 4:50 allowing me to sleep a little over an hour and I appreciated it! It wasn't hard for me to fall asleep since I had trouble going to bed last night (up until 11 when I went to bed at 10).

When I arrived at daycare, my heart dropped when I saw a bottle of breast milk on the side and it had leaked. I know the whole saying, "don't cry over spilled milk" but I had worked tirelessly to pump enough for daycare so I was disappointed and glad that I had brought an extra bottle of breast milk than I thought she may need.

On my way to work I shed some tears but once I got there everything felt weird. I had so much to do that I didn't know where to begin. So I just focused on what was most important which were trying to get a hold of students doing poorly in classes.

I was able to pump three times and got a total of 9 ounces. I was happy thinking that Ellie probably on took in 8 ounces since she only took in 4 during her half day yesterday. However, when I got there I looked at the sheet and she took in 10 ounces! Yikes! She also didn't nap very well so she was clearly tired when we got home.

Another mother at the daycare was very supportive and told me that her son did not nap a wink during the first two weeks of daycare but had begun napping recently. So I took comfort in her words of encouragement. It doesn't make it easy when I got her and she started to fuss right away.

When we got home, she did not sleep for very long and was up while I was making dinner and waiting for Eric to get home. Once we finished dinner, Eric picked Ellie up in her bouncer and started smiling and laughing and guess what!? She began to laugh back and giggle. She did it for me once before but never again but she did it over and over again. Her laugh melted our hearts and we kept encouraging for more. Finally she stopped but Eric and I kept talking about it over and over tonight.

I'm so tired right now and in the back of my mind I'm not sure how I can do a full work week of such a busy schedule.

Dad and Ellie cuddle time

Daycare and Returning to Work

Today Ellie did a half day at daycare just to get her (and me) adjusted. She went to bed around 9:30 but work up at 4:30. Unfortunately, she did not fall asleep right away and I landed back in bed at 5:40 with the intention of getting up at 6. I was so tired I decided to sleep anyways, 20 minutes is better than 0. However, at 6:15 Eric's alarm went off and he asked me what time I wanted to get up. Not knowing the time I said 6:15 and he said "well, time to get up." Since this was just a run I said 15 more minutes and got up at 6:30.

I was able to make breakfast and get ready. Ellie was asleep (I said to Eric, "this is so wrong to wake up a sleeping baby") so I had to turn on the lamp and unswaddle her to wake her up. At 7:15 I began to nurse. Well, our 20 minute nursing session took 30 minutes as she decided to poop while nursing and it was a large one that made me change her entire outfit and then she decided to spit up on my clothes.

My lesson for tomorrow morning, wake her up earlier (6:45 a.m.), which means I need to get up earlier (6 a.m.), and nurse then get dressed. I have a feeling I'm going to be VERY tired tomorrow. Thank goodness I decided to go back on a short week.

Overall, I did well. I only cried once which was an improvement when we did orientation where I teared up several times even though we weren't dropping her off. I feel better because they and the director stress to me to "call anytime."

A picture to show you our lovely Turkey, Ellie (we decided on a nickname....finally, more because there's another Elizabeth in daycare!)

Prepare to Return to Work

In one week I will be returning to work. Last night I had a dream that one of my students showed up at my apartment to ask me a question. I was furious that he did not go and see my supervisor for help. Maybe it's a sign that I'm ready or a sign that work is upon me.

Before Eric and I decided to have children I would ask Eric if he would be okay if I was a stay at home mom. At that time he would reply, "if we had the money." So, I knew that where he stood on that but he would ask me, "do you think you could be a stay at home mom?" Honestly, I didn't know then. I hear from my friends that some of them can and some of them cannot. Who knew how I would feel after having my own child?

Towards the end of my pregnancy, Eric opened up the conversation of his acceptance of me being a stay at home mom. I found this quite odd as our child wasn't here yet and he was beginning to have a change of heart. I didn't think much of this since my intent was always to return to work after maternity leave.

When Elizabeth was born (by the way, we're still in discussion in regards to Ellie or Ella) Eric and I were both like "we cannot be stay at home parents." However, as I took my daycare orientation tour yesterday I had a hard time handing her off to one of the teachers while we went to take care of paperwork. I kept tearing up as I saw where she was going to sleep and as we filled out the paperwork. Even seeing the numbers on how much we would be paying a week was hard (luckily for a 10% SLU discount).

A friend told me recently that it's hard to let them go to daycare at this age, but by the time they're three it'll be "see you later!"

My other challenge is having enough milk to send with her to daycare. I've been reading and reading on how to have enough but with trying to pump so that she's given an ounce of milk a day and trying to get a freezer stash started is proving a lot harder than I thought. The daycare she goes to provides formula so we started giving her the formula that the daycare will provide (Good Start) and see how she does. She has taken formula before but she's done so well these past thirty days that she did not even finish half a can of Similac. Luckily one of my friends daughter will be able to use the unfinished can.

Here's a picture of our less fussy, more smiling baby Elizabeth! We love her more than she'll ever know.

Elizabeth is Two Months Old!

Quick update as I hardly find the time to do much. Any time I'm on Facebook it's only because I'm nursing Elizabeth and Eric gave me his old phone that can get on the internet if there's WiFi and there is in our house so there goes.

-Elizabeth is two months old! Eric and I can't believe we've survived so far!

-At her one month appointment she was 10 pounds, 6 ounces. 75% percentile in both height and weight! She's a healthy girl!

-Eric and I are in discussion about her nickname and I believe I will lose this battle (Update: Eric just said it's starting to grow on him...). I love the name Ella and he likes Ellie. So far he hasn't budged on Ella since it reminds him of an old lady he knew at church when he went in his younger years. I feel like Ellie is taken by some of my friends friend that has a daughter but Eric pointed out that it's only two of MY friends, but I told him that Elizabeth is an old name as well so it shouldn't matter.

-Other nicknames we've called her: fussy butt, Miss Piggy, Chunky Monkey (I know all names we won't be able to call her in two months). The favorite one that will probably stick is Turkey. At my last doctor's appointment, the week of Thanksgiving I joked that she was my turkey (you know the whole 'bun in the oven' joke) and then she was born Thanksgiving weekend so the nickname just stuck!

-After two months, I'm still figuring out the difference between her "I'm tired" and her "I'm hungry" cries. Touching her cheek doesn't work anymore to see if she's hungry.

-She's still fussy at night. Squats, swaddling, and the pacifier helps. My arms are getting a great workout.

-She's begun to SMILE! She's also trying to suck on her thumb, but puts her whole fist in her mouth.

-I have less than three weeks of maternity left. I'm torn because I miss adult interaction during the day. An ideal situation would be to work part-time and keep the same pay and benefits!

-Nursing has been a challenged. I've gotten an infection twice that has caused fevers and chills including a lot of pain. Many days I think about giving up but I continue on, hoping that things get better.

-I, personally cannot wait until she gets on a more predictable schedule!

Here's a picture of our lovely Turkey!

Elizabeth vs. The Crib

The first night home I was a nervous wreck because I knew that we could no longer send Elizabeth to the nursery to get some good night sleep. With breastfeeding not well established, Eric and I were unsure what her cries were and so the first night was very difficult. We were able to rock Elizabeth to sleep but once we placed her in the crib she woke up crying. So we did what we knew we weren't suppose to do. I slept on the couch with her in my arms all night.

The next night it was the same we tried to put Elizabeth in the crib and she would wake up screaming, my friends suggested swaddling so we swaddled her even more tightly but she would just roll over and wake herself up. I read the "What to Expect the First Year" book which gave tips but none of them worked for us.

Then, I resorted to Facebook. Many people had different opinions, one friend messaged me because she disagreed with what one person said, one friend e-mailed me and told me of her relative going through the same issue. I had a lot of great advice but one that I disagreed with was letting her cry it out.

Although I realize that many of us as parents will have different methods on how to raise our child/ren, I am a firm believer that infants are a lot smarter than what we give them credit for. I do believe that they can be psychologically harmed at this age given the infant's personality. Yes, I believe some infants would not be harmed if there were to cry it out because they might have resilience but I also believe some infants would be harmed and eventually stop crying because "nobody cares about me."

I realize through the way that my parents raised me I want to be different, to be more emotionally available for my daughter instead of ignoring her feelings. I can remember vividly some of the things my parents did that made feel terrible and I do believe this is why we aren't very close. I know my mother and I will have battles to fight (as we already have) as I raise my daughter very differently than from the way she raised me.

As I venture back to the crib story, a friend mentioned a Fischer Price Rock and Sleeper and I was about to order it until Eric suggested we try the bouncer first. In the meantime, Elizabeth began sleeping in the bed with us after we attempted to put her in the crib three times. I know this goes against all books and all advices but this allowed Eric and I to sleep in a bed! It wasn't the greatest sleep because I woke up often to make sure she was okay but it was in a bed!

Eventually we tried another friend's method of wrapping Eric's shirt around her when we put her in the crib. The first time we tried it, it worked for 10 minutes. Later that night, she slept in the crib and for then on, six out of seven nights she would sleep in the crib! I have a feeling that Eric is not going to see that shirt on his back for a very long time!