Getting Burnt Out? Or Getting Burned.

Last week my students were on spring break and I was in heaven. I know when spring break arrives it is the calm before the storm. I saw very few students since most of them were away having fun. However, spring break is also the week in which I receive midterm grades.

This time of year the students are under a lot of stress. The waves of tests awaits them or they find out that they aren't doing as well as they wanted to. They also are trying to figure out their summer plans: vacation, summer school, internship. Along with all of this they have to meet with their faculty mentor and me (their academic advisor) before they can register for classes in the fall.

There are four types of students during the registration period process. The overachiever: the guy that comes in super early with everything lined up. The average guy: the person that gives himself just enough time to meet with me. The high-maintenance student: the person that waited until the last minute to start the process then finds out that I'm completely booked the week before he is suppose to register and then comes to my door demanding that I squeeze him in. Finally , there's the laid back Joe: the guy that waits until registration is over before he even begins to start the process.

On rare occasions I have the student that is superstitious and waits until the day before classes to register.

This semester, to add into that mix I have two complicated students. One that came in this week wanting to register for classes...for THIS semester. Another student in which I have never met, but only communicated through phone and e-mail that have made some very uncomfortable remarks.

I thought having a child would make me more patient with the students, but I have found that I am the same. I'm easily frustrated when they fail to understand process and procedures to this entire process when they do this twice a year. I also get frustrated when they make comments in regards to why appointments take 30 minutes when we may only meet for five or that I'm not important enough for them to remember to meet with me.

In the past I would care that they would make these comments, but since I've been back at work, I don't feel as emotionally invested as I use to be. Is this a bad thing? It's not that I no longer give the great service that I give to students but I feel like I don't vent as much as I use to when student make hurtful comments. Maybe I'm just focused on the more important things.

I have also begun looking into summer classes. I have my eye on a research class that is solely online! This would be perfect since I am still nursing Ellie, a night class would mean too many hours away from her which could affect my milk supply. So, this would be a perfect balance of getting a class out of the way and meeting her needs.

Pumping at work has been interesting. Every time I pump, I never know how much I am going to get. I think my mood affects it too because when the students stress me out with their demands I do produce less milk. However, I've been lucky to have a great boss and co-worker that have been so understanding and don't hold a grudge that I've blocked off an hour a day to pump. Only one student has demanded to know where I was 3-3:30 every day. I think she felt bad asking when I told her the truth. I absolutely hate it when students knock on my door when I'm pumping. I need to make a sign that just states when I'll be back.

Birthday week is coming up soon. I'll be turning the big 3-0 this year. There's nothing wrong with it, but I do feel old. I feel that I have more gray hair than ever before. I am also losing a lot of hair and it freaks me out when one of them is gray. I'm disappointed that my mom waited until last night to make plans with me for Sunday night when my friends asked me weeks ago to take me out Sunday night. I'm also surprised that my mom doesn't want to see Ellie more. She had the insurance agent mail me my new insurance cards for my car instead of bringing them over. I feel very confused and sad that we aren't a more close-knit family. I really thought having a child would do that, but here I am: wrong.

As I sit and reflect the complicated relationship I have with my parents, I hope that Ellie and I will have just the opposite. I hope we're like Lorelei and Rory in Gilmore Girls, that she can come to me always and that she knows that I will love her unconditionally. I also know that she will have a great relationship with Eric and hope that she realizes that she can always count on him to be there for her: emotionally and physically. I know people have told us this before, but Ellie is really lucky to have us as parents. Our own life experiences of hurt, disappointment, and sadness have taught us what we can do better for our daughter and hopefully she'll have more confidence and trust than I will ever have.

Our Lovely Turkey on St. Patrick's Day. Possibly my favorite picture.

A Full Five Day Work Week

Last week was the first full five days that I worked. It was challenging as I found myself deciding between shower or sleep. 50% of the times sleep won and I just put my hair in a pony tail at work the next day. I'm not sure where the time goes in the evenings. It's not like we're wasting our time watching TV. I think oftentimes I am scrambling to get dinner ready (which is not easy when I have a 20-30 minute nursing session right when I get home), washing the bottles from daycare and getting our bags packed for the next day. Let alone to spend some quality time with Turkey before she naps or falls asleep. It's a challenge and I hope as she gets older, it gets easier.

Ellie is still coughing. She got a little better when she went back to daycare on Monday but then the sneezing started and our bottle of Little Noses is almost empty since we've try to saline her nose so she can breathe, eat or sleep. Ellie also stopped coughing so hard that she would spit up all of her food but it started again this weekend. Sunday morning was the worse because it was so violent that it went on the floor while she was laying in her crib. I feel so bad for her, but it doesn't phase her. Even after that massive spit up she went right to sleep.

In terms of sleep, my 8-9 hours is out the window. She wakes up about 5 or 6 hours after we put her down so she's getting up twice a night with the second wake up 45 minutes before I'm suppose to get up for work. It's rough and she's still the only kid that stays the longest at daycare. I just hope that Ellie can get rid of this cough/congestion fast so that we can all get some better sleep.