Elizabeth vs. The Crib

The first night home I was a nervous wreck because I knew that we could no longer send Elizabeth to the nursery to get some good night sleep. With breastfeeding not well established, Eric and I were unsure what her cries were and so the first night was very difficult. We were able to rock Elizabeth to sleep but once we placed her in the crib she woke up crying. So we did what we knew we weren't suppose to do. I slept on the couch with her in my arms all night.

The next night it was the same we tried to put Elizabeth in the crib and she would wake up screaming, my friends suggested swaddling so we swaddled her even more tightly but she would just roll over and wake herself up. I read the "What to Expect the First Year" book which gave tips but none of them worked for us.

Then, I resorted to Facebook. Many people had different opinions, one friend messaged me because she disagreed with what one person said, one friend e-mailed me and told me of her relative going through the same issue. I had a lot of great advice but one that I disagreed with was letting her cry it out.

Although I realize that many of us as parents will have different methods on how to raise our child/ren, I am a firm believer that infants are a lot smarter than what we give them credit for. I do believe that they can be psychologically harmed at this age given the infant's personality. Yes, I believe some infants would not be harmed if there were to cry it out because they might have resilience but I also believe some infants would be harmed and eventually stop crying because "nobody cares about me."

I realize through the way that my parents raised me I want to be different, to be more emotionally available for my daughter instead of ignoring her feelings. I can remember vividly some of the things my parents did that made feel terrible and I do believe this is why we aren't very close. I know my mother and I will have battles to fight (as we already have) as I raise my daughter very differently than from the way she raised me.

As I venture back to the crib story, a friend mentioned a Fischer Price Rock and Sleeper and I was about to order it until Eric suggested we try the bouncer first. In the meantime, Elizabeth began sleeping in the bed with us after we attempted to put her in the crib three times. I know this goes against all books and all advices but this allowed Eric and I to sleep in a bed! It wasn't the greatest sleep because I woke up often to make sure she was okay but it was in a bed!

Eventually we tried another friend's method of wrapping Eric's shirt around her when we put her in the crib. The first time we tried it, it worked for 10 minutes. Later that night, she slept in the crib and for then on, six out of seven nights she would sleep in the crib! I have a feeling that Eric is not going to see that shirt on his back for a very long time!

Breastfeeding is Hard!

*Don't read this if you don't want to hear about breastfeeding!*

Eric and I bravely took a breastfeeding class before Elizabeth was born. We learned so much in three hours that I felt that the course should have been longer. I felt prepared and knew what to expect when our baby was born.

Within the first hour Elizabeth was able to latch on and the nurse was so impressed with her. She was able to do 20 minutes on each side and every two hours after that I would try again. The problem was she got so sleepy that she would just refuse to suck even after I tried to wake her up by taking off her clothes.

On the second day she would begin to wake up a little bit and the lactation consultant came in and asked if I had any questions. Since Elizabeth did so well I thought things were going to be a breeze, until that evening.

At around midnight Elizabeth was inconsolable. She would suck for 20 minutes on each breast and then continue rooting so I would give her my breasts again. For two hours she was on my breast and I was tired, in pain and not sure what to do. I felt like the colostrum was not coming in because I was unable to squeeze anything out.

I called the nurse and she was not able to give me any advice expect that she was probably cluster feeding. Cluster feeding now? I don't have anything. She asked if I wanted to give her a pacifier or give her some supplement? I didn't know, both of these things I was told not to do if I wanted to breastfeed successfully.

I began to have feelings of disappointment in myself, I did not know what to do. What mother feels that way? What choice is the best choice for her? I caved in and allowed the nurse to give her 10 mL of formula. Why starve the child?

The next day I was to be released from the hospital and I requested to see the lactation consultant before I left. She saw Elizabeth latch on but was able to see that I was not able to produce any colostrum. So she encouraged us to continue and to supplement her at 15 mL per feeding except that now we would use a syringe and tube to artificially supplement her.

This meant that feeding was a two man job. Eric would get the formula into the syringe and then put the tube next to my breast into Elizabeth's mouth where she would suck on my breast but be getting formula instead. Our first week and a half was very hard and very tiring. It didn't help that sometimes Eric had to go to work or run errands which made feeing difficult and once he didn't get home in time I had to give Elizabeth the bottle.

Finally my breast milk came in about six days later and our pediatrician had seen Elizabeth three times in less than two weeks because her weight had dropped dramatically. We have increased her supplement to 1 1/2 ounces per feeding and now we have moved from the syringe to 10 minutes on each breast and then feeding from the bottle since I plan to go back to work.

It's so much easier now that I can feed her myself, but this whole experience made me realize why some people just cannot breastfeed. Our bodies are made up differently and our babies have different needs than what we want. Hopefully, with time Elizabeth will be able to switch over to breast milk only. In the meantime, our main concern is to get her weight gain up to where she was before making any more changes. Hats off to all the women who breastfeed successfully. I know it is NOT easy, even when the classes make it seem like it's a piece of cake.

The Name Game

When I first found out I was pregnant many good friends gave me great advice. Such as look for a daycare now, what kind of clothes to buy, and tips to overcome morning sickness (none of them worked for me as I was nauseous even after my water broke). However, the best advice was to not tell anyone the name of our child until after she was born. This way it would not allow people to give a chance to express their negative opinion of the name.

Eric and I decided very early on that two names we were thinking of were Elizabeth and Julie/Julia. However, Eric liked the name Julie/Julia and I was in love with Elizabeth. So we compromised that we would wait until she got here to see what "she looked like." In the meantime we nicknamed her "Penny."

When the baby arrived Eric immediately told me that I could name her Elizabeth, but in my mind I felt like he was giving me that name and felt that we should consider both. He felt that she did not look like a Julie and it was narrowed down to Elizabeth and Julia.

At this point everyone asked what her name was and we kept stating we did not know. Everyone wanted to know what the choices were and everyone gave their opinion. The only people we didn't tell were our visitors!

Eric and I tried to give ourselves deadlines to name our child but the deadline would come and pass and we would set a new one. I distinctively remember that we would have the name picked out before the visitors came on Monday night. However, as visitors came and went, Eric's grandma came in and held her. She asked about the name and again we told her we did not pick one out yet. She said, "well I was thinking about the name Elizabeth and calling her Lizzie." Eric and I looked at each other and smiled. I guess this was our sign. Eric's grandma had NO idea about the two choices and helped us make the decision.

I found out later that one of Eric's cousins had already chosen that name and has already told me another name that she has dibs on. :0) This same person was also almost named Elizabeth, but according to the story, Eric's grandmother HATED that name and told her daughter (the mother of the cousin) that if she named her Elizabeth she would not call her by that name.

Funny thing is, we can't really rely on either side of that story. :0)

Labor & Delivery

On Sunday, November 28, 2010 Eric and I welcomed a beautiful (AND HEALTHY!!) baby girl name Elizabeth Ruyi at 2:36 p.m.

Up until this point whenever a friend had a baby I would listen to the story about how the labor went. I never really fully understood their story until now because I have experienced it for myself. I admit, I was scared to death about delivering a child. Now that everything is done and over with I would have to say my labor and delivery experience went pretty smoothly.

At my 38 week check up my doctor told me he was guessing that the baby was 6 pounds and that by my due date the baby would be at 7 pounds. I felt that with this guess I would opt to go for a natural delivery without any pain medication.

So how it started...

Eric promised me a Christmas tree on Saturday even though I protested and wanted one a week ago for fearing that the baby might come. He reassured me that if she did come early he would go get the tree himself and decorate it. So Saturday came and we went to Ted Drewes to pick out the perfect tree. We opted for the Frasier Fir because of the scent and that they apparently hold their needles better. Eric brought it upstairs and I started decorating it realizing that we didn't have enough lights and lost our tree skirt. So we took a trip to Target to get the rest of our supplies. We finished decorating at around 11:55 p.m (according to the camera).

Eric and I decided it was time to go to bed. I was sitting in the living room couch reading through a magazine and he was cleaning the rabbits cage when I felt a gush of water. I paused and then started to frantic, how am I going to clean this up? Luckily and I'm not sure why there was a towel sitting on the couch that I was able to get under me before it made a mess everywhere and then I told Eric my water broke.

I went to the bathroom and saw that the water also contained green and brown colors which I knew immediately was meconium. I also knew that the cause of this meant that the baby was at some point in distress. So trying not to freak Eric out I told him what it was and poor Eric going into shock mode but doing great by working as fast as he could to prep the rabbits their meal and then to finish up packing the hospital bag.

I started having painful contractions as we went to the hospital. I knew this was the real deal as I had not experienced any until this point. When I checked in the nurse checked and said I was 5 cm dialated. At around 4 a.m. I was checked again and was at 8 cm dialated. I just had two more to go and she told me that when I started having the urge to push that I needed to let her know so she could call my doctor.

At 7 a.m. I had fallen asleep and my contractions were sporadic. This was also the time a new nurse came in and she allowed me to sleep for a couple more hours (on and off). At 9 a.m. she stated that I have not changed in five hours and that it was time to start moving things along since she didn't want to check me due to my water breaking already (more risk of infection) and that the baby had been in distress. So at this point I opted to go for the epidural and start the induction.

My experience with the epidural procedure was positive. In fact the nurse commented that she was surprised that it was so easy because everything was closer together. I didn't wait long for the nurse anesthetist and the procedure was quick. Immediately, the nurse started the oxytocin to start the labor process and this also gave me some time to sleep.

When in labor I felt like the time flew by so quickly. Before I knew it, I was waking up from some incredible contractions. I had a button that I could press for more epidural but I was afraid to do so because my friend who recently had given birth could not feel the urge to push. However, towards the end I could no longer take it and would push the button every 10 minutes. Then I knew it was time to have the baby as my other friend told me the sensation was like needing to go to the bathroom to poop. It was definitely there and I told the nurse. She checked me and said I was 9 1/2 cm and that things were going well. I asked if she was going to call the doctor to have him in and she said no that they don't call until I am starting to push. I remember feeling so disappointed.

However, the baby then started to go into distress and they gave me an oxygen mask to wear. Then she said that I couldn't start pushing until the doctor came and that she was giving him a call now.

When the doctor entered the room I was so happy. He checked and said that I could start pushing. After the first round he said he would be back in a minute and then I was able to push for two more rounds. During my second and third round, the doctor got pulled into another delivery that was more urgent and I was asked to lay on my left side. I'm not sure how long I laid there but I felt terrible. I wanted to push so badly but was told to relax. Finally he came back and a few more rounds of pushes, Elizabeth arrived with a lot of hair. I was told beforehand that because there was meconium that she could have swallowed it or it could have gotten in her lungs and that the pediatrician would take a look at her first instead of allowing me to have her. Surprisingly, I was not disappointed that I was not able to be the first. They took her and everyone marveled at her hair and her weight. Stating that luckily I had gotten the epidural. People played the weight guessing game and the woman who weighed her stated "she's at least 8 pounds."

So that's pretty much the story of the labor and delivery of baby Elizabeth. I finally got to hold her after she was cleaned off and weighed. Eric was great throughout the whole process and even stayed by my side after Elizabeth was born but I urged him to be with her to see what they were doing and to take pictures. He did cut the umbilical cord and got her footprints in our baby book.

To see pictures of the first days of her life, please visit our photo website.